For millennia, women have been on the defensive. We’ve been told that we are weaker than men – an excuse to keep us from doing hard work and having careers. We have fought to earn our seat at the table, and while it feels amazing to be working in industries historically dominated by men, something is still missing.
There is a power within you that is bigger and deeper than the mask you wear when you ask your boss for a raise. That power is strong, intense, and it’s feminine. Yet the industry you work in forces you to suppress your feminine power in favor of more hustle and more sacrifice. That ends now.
In this episode, discover how it is possible and beneficial for women to tap into their feminine energy at work. I share why so many of us are passionate about our careers and still fantasize about quitting. There are two radical shifts in your thinking that I’ll teach you which will allow you to overcome the frustrations and disappointments in your career so you can feel calmer and more confident.
You can cultivate a deeper sense of purpose in work and at home all by embracing your divine, feminine spirit.
To celebrate the re-launch of the show, I’m going to be giving away a reMarkable tablet to 1 lucky listener who follows, rates, and reviews the show. I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value. Click here to learn more about the contest and how to enter.
I’ll be announcing the winner on the show in an upcoming episode!
What You Will Discover:
- Why our feminine energy gets suppressed at work.
- How to recognize toxic masculine energy.
- What causes our wounded feminine energy to come out.
- How teacher’s pet syndrome shows up in adulthood.
- Why I don’t teach you to just think positively.
- The 2 key ingredients to living a fulfilling life at work and at home.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Resources for You:
Full Episode Transcript:
I’m SaraEllen Hutchison and this is the Feminine Energy Feminist podcast, episode number one: The 2 Radical Ideas That Every Professional Woman Needs (& No One Tells You).
Welcome to Feminine Energy Feminist, a podcast for professional women who are ready to tap into their feminine energy, so they can be happier at work and in their personal lives. It’s time to redefine what a professional woman is in those historically male-dominated fields that don’t always embrace the needs and talents of women.
I’m your host, SaraEllen Hutchison. I’m a life coach and a practicing lawyer. I’ll help you learn how to embrace who you are as a woman; body, mind, and spirit, so you can be more powerful in your career and fulfilled in your life. So, if you’re ready not just to be a high-achiever, but get what your soul wants too, let’s proceed.
If you’ve been listening to me, you might have noticed that this used to be Inner Peace for Busy Lawyers. Well, things are changing around here. The mission is bigger; to help all professional women working in – for the lack of a better word we will call – the male-dominated fields. And this is to help us take care of body and soul better and manage our time better, and thrive in our relationships, both professional and personal.
The problems that women lawyers have are not just law problems. They are in every profession. And so, it requires two radical shifts in your thinking in order to overcome these problems, whether you are in law or some other field. So, stick around for the whole episode because there’s something here for you, and you’re going to love it.
For millennia, women have been on the defensive. We have been told either explicitly or implicitly that we are weaker than the men. And that used to be used as an excuse to keep us from doing hard jobs and having impactful careers. And the men in charge made all kinds of pseudoscientific justifications for that while they smoked their cigars and some of them snorted cocaine.
But things began to change about 100 years ago, First, we finally got the right to vote in the United States. And then, when the world was at war for the second time in modern history, we went to work in many jobs previously held only by men. Another two decades later, feminist pioneers fought for a seat at the table alongside the men.
Fast forward to today, women are more than half of the graduates of law school and more than half of the graduates of med school. But less than 40% of practicing lawyers are women. And even fewer are in litigation. And only a third of practicing physicians are women.
And if you think that’s bad, only 40% of business school graduates are women. Only 20% of engineering school graduates are women. And 40% of women with engineering degrees either never enter the profession, or leave. But you, dear listener, are different.
You are one of those women who’s sticking around. And even though sometimes your circumstances are difficult and sometimes at the end of a trying day or hard week, you fantasize about quitting, you don’t. You like your work, or you like the status or the money.
For a number of reasons, you stay. Maybe it’s not all it was cracked up to be, but you’re still here. You’re really good at your job. You believe in your work. But it’s a lot of sacrifice.
You might have tried to be tougher or hustle more, like some of the people around you, in order to survive. And you might have realized that hustle doesn’t always work. All that hustle and sacrifice comes at a cost that is palpable but hard to quantify.
When you are being interrupted, you feel small. When you try to interrupt back, you are told to smile more and be more approachable. And you’ve always been a good student, trying to get an A. And that hasn’t changed in your work life.
You go the extra mile. You do a lot that you don’t get credit for. But you can’t imagine not showing up as your best and doing what needs to be done. And it’s exhausting.
And so, now you’re at a point in your life where you realize that while the men seem to get more credit for less work compared to you, that this whole problem isn’t always with the men themselves. This is not about hating men or being at war with them. Not at all.
The men you work with didn’t create the system. The generations before them did. And their patterns of communication – the mansplaining and the manterrupting – are subconscious reflexes from the best well-meaning men.
It’s kind of, like, what they just do. The same way a lot of women feel like imposter syndrome is something they just have. Or are these things true? Are these things things that people just do or have?
Secretly, or perhaps not, you might envy those friends of yours who work in the less stressful jobs, who seem to have an easier time finding a partner and getting along with the one they have. But maybe this is the price to pay for having a meaningful impact on the world, or making the big bucks.
Does it have to be? Your world is so facts-driven, so data-driven, so bottom-line, so logical. But when you are alone with yourself and your thoughts, your soul is clear that something is wrong. Something is missing.
You want life to have more awe and wonder. Not just because you’re feeling depleted from everything you do to keep up with your standards or others’ expectations at work, but something else; something deeper that comes from your spirit.
Part of you wants to believe in things like magic and the law of attraction and stuff. But you silence that part of you in order to get through a busy day. And although you have sometimes tapped into a sense that a woman’s power is divine, it’s something very different from the negative stereotypes of a mean boss lady.
This workplace, this industry, it’s not Hogwarts. And you can’t move a mountain of paperwork with a magic wand. But something in you knows that you are missing some bit of, I don’t know, secret sauce that can make all of this easier.
You know there’s a better way to deal with the conflicts within yourself, at work, or at home instead of a kneejerk, shrill, defensive, or clammed up speechless reaction. So, you have tried to fix this. I see you out there trying really, really hard to fix this.
You might have gone to counseling or read a bunch of self-help books or spiritual books. Maybe you’ve done a vision board or had a years-long meditation practice. You go to yoga. You go to retreats. You go to wellness seminars.
Some of it has been helpful. Some of it not. Not all of it seems to stick. But you keep looking for the answer to your stress, your imposter syndrome, the conflict in your life outside of that standard career advice to just lean in or use a firm handshake or take a power pose.
You are more drawn to the realm of the mind, body, and spirit. And until you can change the way your profession operates; you want to learn how to change yourself.
Something about the holistic and spiritual triggers something in you that feels very real, even if it sounds like fairy dust on the surface. You’re aware of a power within you that is bigger and deeper than the mask you wear to get along with your boss or ask for a raise.
And you feel this power in you at times when you step into a leadership role at work that it seems no man can fill as gracefully as you, or when you are engrossed in something you love outside of work; a hobby or a person. But it frustrates you when you can’t seem to summon that same elegant feminine power when it’s time to talk to your partner about what you want in your relationship, or if something or someone challenges you at work.
If this all sounds like you, the problem is that something is missing that you were never taught, that all of your advanced education cannot teach you. You are trying to hold down all of the responsibilities of your adult professional life without one of your greatest inner resources; your feminine energy.
This episode will teach you two key radical new ideas about how to look at yourself, about how to get through all of these frustrations and disillusionments and disappointments and conflicts, so that you can be calmer and more confident at work, get along better with people, and feel a deeper sense of purpose.
These two key radical new ideas are, number one, rekindle your feminine energy. And number two, develop radical awareness of your thoughts and feelings. So, let’s start with the first one; rekindle your feminine energy.
Every human, regardless of gender, has both masculine and feminine energy within them. A full discussion of energy is beyond the scope of this episode, but we can give you a taste of it here today that will get you going in the right direction.
But first, how do we recognize when people are operating out of some childish or toxic versions of masculine energy? Here are some examples.
Despite having an advanced degree and being very, very smart, people often show up to their lives and to their jobs with behavior like unhealthy competition, taking credit for others’ ideas, hiding the books in the law library, acting like mean girls, not telling people there is a major electrical problem with their plane before it crashes and kills hundreds of people leaving messes for some else to clean up, excessively building for brainless boilerplate work, and inappropriate touching and violation of other people’s bodies and space. You get the idea.
It’s draining for many humans who identify as women to be in such an environment where that stuff is constantly going on, when at the same time they feel pressure to fit into that environment or fear of speaking up.
And even if you don’t have the extremes of that at your office, it’s still, for many women, a place where when we don’t feel safe, our wounded feminine energy comes to the fore.
That’s that part of us that is a scared little girl, a people-pleasing teacher’s pet, the one that complains, pouts, and gets jealous even if it’s just in her own mind. That part of us shows up and chatters incessantly in our brains. And we know we can’t show up with that. And so, we might cry in the bathroom or vent to our partner or zone out with Haagen-Dazs and Netflix.
And we know it’s childish or plays into stereotypes about overly emotional women, so we are very self-critical about this behavior. And then we turn it on ourselves. But once we really rekindle our feminine energy in an adult, mature way, that scared little girl voice in us is soothed. But society tries to keep us in that girlhood, trying to please the teacher.
And we carry this teacher’s pet syndrome into our adult professional lives and that perfectionism keeps us from realizing our full potential and being at peace. So, what do we do about all of this? How do we rekindle the feminine energy that’s grown up and mature and powerful and queen-like and goddess-like, so that we can be ourselves and still hang, even if the other people around us are being assholes?
What is required is an identity shift. And this is where you get out a journal, to do the work of shifting your identity. Get a journal and write down all of the women you admire from history who were queens or leaders or warriors, who did amazing things; women who weren’t just famous for their looks.
And then, write down all the times in your life where you have felt the most powerful and feminine. And then ask yourself what your life would look like if you let that part of you show up more often, if you imagined you could sit down with one of these women from history when part of you is a scared little girl, afraid the teacher is not going to give you a good grade on your paper, what would that powerful woman say to you?
This is the beginning of the identity shift. This is the beginning of deliberately using your empowered feminine energy.
The patriarchy at work is a generations-old circumstance. And when you think you have to live up to a certain way of behaving, you feel pressure. You act unconfident. And you get burned out. But when you embrace that you are a woman first and look to different role models than the ones they usually put in our faces for our consideration, you free up tremendous energy to authentically show up.
For years, women’s strengths have not been embraced. And we’ve tried, consciously or not, to adopt a veneer of this masculine energy behavior. But when you shift your identity and realize that you are so much more powerful tapped into your feminine, you no longer need to buy into these centuries-old ideas.
Number two, develop the radical awareness of your thoughts and feelings. So, have you tried to think positive and failed? Guess what? You are okay.
When you develop radical awareness of your thoughts and feelings, realizing that even the so-called negative ones can help you and are fuel for your dreams, you tremendously increase your power. You might have heard advice like, “Fake it until you make it,” and, “You create your own reality, so stop having negative thoughts.”
Well, yeah, there’s some truth in that stuff, but I don’t teach that exactly. We all know that trying to suppress negative thoughts and feelings just makes them stronger as they try harder to convince us that we suck and sabotages the whole point of trying to create positive results through positive thinking.
So, the key here is not positive thinking. It is loving self-awareness. And yes, this includes feeling and naming your emotions; those inconvenient things that many professions tell us need to be set aside in order to get the job done.
But only when you first feel and name and own your emotions will you be able to see why you behave in self-sabotaging ways that keep you second-guessing yourself and stuck in unsolvable conflict. Owning your emotions gives you the power to then choose not to react to them, which is the source of self-control you might desperately want.
You can’t change a negative thought without first accepting it. So, here’s your homework for step number two. Stop forcing yourself to think and feel positive if you sincerely don’t. Does it feel like I just gave you a magical hall slip that says you can cut class? I hope it feels that way because that’s my intent.
Give yourself permission to think and feel exactly as you do. But become radically aware of it and accepting and loving of it. Let yourself off the hook for the unattainable standard. That is the first step to becoming more positive overall and over time.
So, those are the two radical new ideas; rekindle your feminine energy and develop radical self-awareness of your thoughts and feelings.
So why should you listen to this podcast when you’re already very busy and you’re bombarded with information? This podcast, while it is not therapy, takes the best and most useful concepts from cognitive behavioral therapy and woman-centered spirituality to give you concrete tools to help you deal with the day-to-day stresses of your work and your relationships.
And I do this by going into a whole lot more detail about those two key ingredients that I just outlined a moment ago; the feminine energy and the radical awareness.
My 30,000ft mission here – and I hope you will join me – is to support all of us in claiming and redefining the historically male-dominated professions as places where women lead. Because women in their power and integrity make the best lawyers, doctors, executives, engineers, and other leaders for what the world needs now and going forward.
Think about it. The world is kind of a mess at times. Look at our justice system, the private prison industrial complex, systemic discrimination. Look at the appalling lack of corporate responsibility in many of our industries. Look at data breaches, sex scandals where women are humiliated and blamed for blowing the whistle, defective products that hurt people.
Don’t you think we need more feminine values at the center of the mission statement of every industry? But how are we going to be in charge and lead things in a better direction if we cannot first heal and lead ourselves? If we keep pressuring ourselves to fit into a norm that is at odds with our nature and our values, we cut ourselves off from the very power that we need to heal and lead.
I want to give you an A-plus for all of your effort to heal and lead yourself, even if you feel like a lot of it hasn’t worked and you still have a lot of negative thoughts and unsatisfactory circumstances.
Like a pine tree trying to grow in sand, you have been doing the best with the climate you are in and with the nutrients available to you. It’s absolutely not your fault that therapy alone might not have fixed your problems, that a pill doesn’t fix these problems. And crystals, they have very nice vibes, right? I have them all over my house. But vibes alone don’t fix your problems either.
All of this stuff might have been a powerful aid to your individual healing or your goals. But without other key ingredients, it’s not enough. And that is why I have this podcast.
I share here what actually works for me in my life. I teach what has helped me manage stress and people in my 16-year law career, and what has helped me have a beautiful life outside of my work.
My secret is really just the two key ingredients that I teach on this podcast. One, how to find and use your feminine energy. And number two, how to use all of your thoughts and feelings – even the negative ones – to your advantage in any situation.
So, to recap, if you just adopt these two radical new ideas – rekindling your feminine energy by questioning what is powerful and what is feminine. And number two, developing radical awareness of your thoughts and feelings, not by denying and suppressing, but by owning and loving and not reacting – you’ll be well on your way to ruling the world, or at least feeling more satisfied with your world.
Here are the results you can expect if you keep listening to future episodes and apply what you learn. For example, being calmer at work. Having a deeper sense of purpose and spiritual connection. Manifesting your personal and professional goals. Having more fulfilling relationships. And having more time for fun things outside of work.
And you can develop the ability to be more powerful than your negative thoughts in a way that no other single approach can teach you.
Future episodes of this podcast will include the best coaching and self-coaching tools on the planet, so you can improve your life in ways that stick.
You will also hear my real-world applications of spiritual teachings – similar to what you get from teachers like Dr. Joe Dispenza and Abraham Hicks – and ancient wisdom, but interpreted and synthesized for the life of a professional woman in a high-intensity or historically male-dominated job.
Because let’s face it, we have unique demands on our energy. And occasionally, we’ll have interviews with powerful women who are living these principles, to inspire you. And all of this will be delivered with a bit of humor and sass, because laughter is essential, and I hope you find my jokes funny.
To celebrate the launch of the new, improved podcast, I’m going to giving away something really cool, something that I love. And that is a reMarkable Tablet. Have you heard of these? They’re the ones that look and feel like paper.
I love mine. I have no relationship with the company. I don’t get anything by saying that I love my reMarkable, but I do. And so, I’m going to raffle off just one of these to one lucky listener who follows, rates, and reviews the show.
It doesn’t have to be a five-star review, although I hope that you love the show. I do want your honest feedback, so I can create an awesome show that provides a ton of value.
Visit lawyergoddess.com/raffle to learn more about the raffle and how to enter. I’ll be announcing the winner on the show in an upcoming episode.
I am thrilled that you are here. You are already amazing. You’ve already come so far. You already know more and are more powerful than you sometimes give yourself credit for. And now, you’ll have the insight and the tools to create what has eluded you. Have a beautiful rest of your week.
Thanks for listening to Feminine Energy Feminist. If you want more information or the resources from the podcast, visit lawyergoddess.com/podcast. See you next week.
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